A word with God

a word with god

God listening to our prayers

The thing is, when I get to visit that great Internet in the sky, (I say ‘Internet’ because I reckon ‘The Matrix’ might have got some of it, right), I shall be wanting a word with God. 

(Although this may sound arrogant I think if God is everything that they say He is, He won’t mind a bit of a chat. I just hope that there’s not too much of a queue outside His office, otherwise it could take forever).

Anyway, I shall be wanting a word with God, about Time or rather the lack of it.

It hardly seems fair…

You live roundabout your three score and ten (70 for our Trump supporters) and when the time comes to ‘kick the bucket, pop your clogs’ etc, you find that you still have rather a lot to do but no time to do it in. 

Now the way I figure it, Three score and Ten might have been say, OK in the middle ages when there wasn’t that much to do except grow potatoes and feed the pigs. We live busier lives now. We have mortgages, jobs (some of us) and all sorts of stresses and strains that the average peasant of yesteryear would not understand if they came along and bit him on the arse/ass. If the Lord of the Manor wanted extra taxes, your average villager then could up sticks and go and hide in the woods until the soldiers went away, or ask Robin Hood to lend him a hand. For us, it’s different. We don’t have a Robin Hood and when we have finished sorting the basics, we need time to relax. We, unlike them, have our Mental Health to consider.

So, if God is in the position to negotiate I shall put it to Him that a little longer in the Time Department might help.

I’ll think you’ll agree when I say that Life is full of red herrings. (You knew where you were in the Middle ages….Sun comes up – work – Sun goes down – bed). 

For us there are wrong turnings. Wrong turnings that we have a natural tendency to explore and waste time in before we realise that they in fact lead nowhere. I don’t believe God takes these ‘interruptions’ into account. In fact, I might be so bold as to suggest He is not even aware that they exist.

My theory.

I think God has taken His eye off the ball.  There are two things here.

ONE: I think He has such confidence in the perfection of His creation that he assumes we can pretty well handle anything. This is not to say God is in any way arrogant rather that he has a little too much ‘faith’ in us.

TWO: There is a possibility God is still well and truly pissed off with the way we treated Jesus. This is not to say that God is vindictive. Rather that He has forgotten that we exist in, as it were, a different time zone. For example. He may, in His ‘Time Zone’ have been angry at us re the Jesus thing for what…10 minutes? Unfortunately, His Ten Minutes is for us the equivalent of thousands of years.


I would, if granted an audience to have a word with God, (I hope they have some interesting magazines in the waiting room could be a long wait), try my best to explain to Him how things are going down on His earthly kingdom at the moment. AND to remind Him (gently of course) ‘ of the differentials in the time zones’. I would also attempt as best as I could, explain that life just isn’t like it was when His offspring last visited.

Of course, I’m not sure that Himself would take any notice of little old me. At a guess I would say the waiting room would be crowded out with all sorts, all wanting to put their 10 cents in. All wanting a word with God. From Beethoven to Attila the Hun, Martin Luther King to Adolf Hitler, all complaining about the same thing…that there was never enough time.

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